One basic huan need, two opposing groups. Tabu throughout the history, the question which determines the way of one's life and sometimes even death. Shocking as it is, even nowadays the question of sex before marriage and even sex itself remains unclear.
People come from various backgrounds and traditions. I, for example come from strongly catholic family. We have been going to church regularly, took part in church activities and attended confessions every month. I have deep respect towards spirituality and despite my experience I still consider myself as a Catholic. I do not want to punish God for misinterpretations made by people. However, I have never been led towards freedom of choice. I have been brought up under the threat of eternal hell in case I would dare to commit 'it' before I would actually marry somebody. There was no escape, no doubt. Rules set in stone. Potential disobedience on this earth is punished in hell after we spend the life of slavery, suffering and boredom and we finally die. The idea of sex was presented as something sinful, shameful, potentially dangerous and scary. As a teenager I was kept as far away from this danger and knowledge about it as possible. Now it sounds ridiculous. But this state of mental prison is no fun, you can trust me in this. And it can literally destroy lifes. I may sound bitter now, but those were people I trusted the most. But the compass they gave me for life was completely broken. I felt cheated and mislead. I felt stupid for trusting and I felt used. How can you order your way of life to others without having any proof? Does not Jesus teach humility and respect towards opinions of others?
I understand that we are basically first generation with available effective contraception, such as condoms. Things have changed a lot from the times of our parents. But even nowadays I see unbelievable tragedy of people who seem to never experience real and free physical act of love. People who supress their anger in the face of imagined duty and after marrying someone as quickly as possible, still children themselves having one kid after another. And then they are teaching them to live like a slaves. Keeping quiet resentments and jealously judging all these 'unbelievers' who actually keep ownership to their freedom of choice. I do not say everyone is like this. But I have witnessed those cases. I have almost become one of them. And it is very toxic.
Personally I believe that extremes are bad. Based on my reading of psychology of personality development I believe in honesty, decency, commitment and love as values of responsible adult. But I make my own rules. And I reserve my right to make mistakes. Does not Bible say that God is forgiving? There are milion ways of life since each religion has million interpretations. Protestants do not take communion. Some Muslims do not drink and some do. Some people for various reasons do not belive in evolution. There is no granted true way.
I was asked recently if I still do not regret the way of life I chose. If for the sake of my potential future children I did not change my mind. But I do not want to become overprotective parent. I will grant my children freedom and offer them my knowledge as a choice. It still makes me upset so much to hear how people get killed for suspision of losing virginity before marriage. Children get raped by church authorities. Young people are held from travelling, studies and finding themselves, their spirit being killed while they are led to believe that early marriage equals happiness and that having kids is a duty.
These things are evil according to me.
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